Switchcars' Wall of Shame

Over the years we have received the most ridiculous assortment of questions, suggestions, car-dealer hate mail, and plain-old madness. We have compiled them for your entertainment, just in case you were under the delusion that our job was all sunshine and roses. All text is copied EXACTLY as received aside from censoring the profanities.

Regarding a pre-order for the Z06 'Blue Devil', as the ZR1 was codenamed:

Email#1:
DOUG WERE YOU DRINKING WHEN YOU PLACED THIS AD ? I HOPE SO OR DID YOUR MON USE TO BANG YOU OVER THE HEAD WITH A FRYING PAN THERE MUST BE A REASON FOR YOUR INSANITY

Email#2:
BUYER INFO
Name: NunYaDamn Bizness
Day Phone: (606) 666-0666
Comments: Are you guys stupid or something. Stupid is as Stupid Does....thus...you must be STUPID

Regarding a genuine Alpina B7:

BUYER INFO
Name: John Stamose
E-Mail Address: this@that.com
Comments: Dumbass! Don't list it as an Alpina if it's not one

An (unsolicited) email about a pristine, low mileage Porsche 993 which had never seen winter:

All that salt exposure. Too bad. Does it have rust bubbles? Seems like a lot of money for a tail spin car with an uncomfortable driving experience. No power without a turbo. Got to have a turbo to get out of its way for sure. So much cheap plastic and it smells industrial. No wonder the owner traded it back in. So many other cars for better value and driving experience. Smart people buy these cars, but don't have common sense I suppose. A Buick Lacrosse looks and handles better and it has 4-wheel disk brakes and better air conditioning for 1/5th the investment. The color is OK. Not trying to be critical. Thought maybe I would try one of these one day, but keep reminding myself of the tininess. To expensive to maintain. Oh well. Thanks but no thanks. Good luck.

Regarding a 2008 Dodge Challenger SRT8, which when brand new were selling for over MSRP:

You guys selling these cars are all crocks. What a joke, what a way to rip people royal!

An email about a (2-seater) Porsche GT3 RS:

That porsche rs gt3 has 4 seater? I just ask to you that car has 4 seats? But i really tried to found who sportcar, but porsche 911 turbo has 4 seater!! But there only 6500 rpm sucks, rs gt3 has 8400 rpm redline.....

A response to an email about the price on a new Nissan GT-R (which were also selling for over MSRP):

lol, go f*** yourself, i bought mine for msrp +1595$...................maybe your mother will pay the price you ask.

Attempting to be a "shrewd negotiator":

I assume the condition of the car is as near showroom perfect condition as you can get for this ultra low mileage Shelby? Since these "specialty" cars are tailored to a "niche" buyer, are typically slow selling, are in low demand, what's your best and lowest bottom line price you'll accept for the car? Thank you for your time.

From somebody who then wanted us to PAY FOR ADVERTISING on their website!!!:

I would have to say you, looks like you try to get in to the same market as us, the only problem is your about 4 years behind. You only have 26 cars on your site, lol, we have around 4,000. The look and feel of are site is so much more professional and advanced then your site. Good look with your replica site.

Thanks

I'm not your friend, bro:

To whom it may concern,

Due to unforeseeable circumstances, I Frederick Aljundi, hereby relinquish all blame for any actions carried out by Christopher Hardy as of Thursday July 24th. He is acting under his own volition and I cannot be held accountable the results. Mr. Hardy has disappeared with customers cash and M.S.O.s. if you or anyone should come in contact with him please advise him to contact Frederick immediately before any legal recourse is taken. please use caution as he has mentioned suicide and the thought of carrying through with it.

Your friend and business partner, Wael Frederick Aljundi.

The early days of Visual Voicemail technology gave some entertaining results:

From: WIRELESS CALLER (1801*******)

To: SWITCHCARS (12164530507)

"Hi, this is Britney. I just had a baby over there. I love you. So we can go for her personal stuff this week. My number is 801617. I'm thinking about"

And the anonymous hate mail....

You tricked out a classic from a mans driver to a womans touring car and you expect to be paid for the abortion , now thats classic.

GOOD LUCK SELLING THIS ONE , IT IS THE UGLIEST PORSCHE I HAVE EVER SEEN !!!!!!!!!!!!

Email: drrr@hotmail.com
Comments: you must be smokin weed

Comments: What idiots - you'll never sell this GT at your inflated price. Make it a boat anchor - d***head.

Name: HaHa NoOneWantsYourGT

Email: yousuck@dumbass.com

Offer Price: $1.59

Comments: your car is worth every penny i offered you, Jason

It is crazy. The bottom has absolutely fallen out of every vehicle...even these!!! Dealers can't give them away. The party is over for you dealers. Years ago the dealer enjoyed being smarter than the public. Now the tables have turned and the game has changed...the buying public is now WAY more sophisticated than you old school dealers. GOOD LUCK with your bricks and mortar investment and upside down business model.

I'm confused.....

Dear Doug,
My name is Adam and i am located in los angeles, California. I have come to hear that you are looking for certain cars, and well i got a list of exotics but i want to know what exactly you are looking for. What colors to what year to what price. Please specify if you can. Some of these are privately owned but most of them are in my warehouse. Also don't worry about transportation i can either have my transporter bring them to you or we can race them thru the desert. Whatever you want we can make happend. Also do you know of any dealer auctions for exotic cars. I am kinda new to the west coast because orginally i am from tennessee. Well let me know something when you can. Thank you

Name: Emma
Email: 907519494@qq.com
Phone: HOXHvBENG
Best Time To Call:
Comments: WOW! LOL! Saftey isnt just brakes. Look in a mgazaine and see how the ferrari stops in less distance than the porsche. So that means the brakes are better in the ferrari. But a ferrari is more special because its hand built. The engines in the ferraris are different from each other because they are hand built and the molding for the engines are not used over and over. The materials to make the ferrari is special as well. Airbags, brakes, etc makes a car safe. There are also special educational programs available to understand the difference between a Porsche and a Ferrari. I hope this helps.

Thanks & Regards

Emma

With regards to your company am John Freeman and am sending you this mail regards to some Pool Table i want to order from you company , So i will like you to get back to me with the types of animal feeders you have and their prices also i will like to know if you do accept credit card payment. Please Advise.

This man has problems with his wife:

Hello mr Tabutt. I cannot buy your Aston Martin because I cannot transfer the money because my wife don,t let me do that [she says] If you really want an Aston Martin you sell one of the other cars . So very sorry please relist your Aston I have a lot of problems with my wife . she said why do you want another car because you already have an Acra NSX and a jaguar XKR 100

Later on...
Hello Doug, I asked my wife why not. ??? Its okay with her but first I have to sel the xkr 100 ,. How long can you save the car for me maybe a few weeks and what will it cost me?
Please let me know because I really want this car.
Best regards

And then...
Doug, I can not buy the car because I cannot get the money. Wife Blocked the account. And my wife if very angry because she will not sell the Jaguar. So please retract my bid and relist the DB7.
Very sorry Doug but I still love my wife more than the car.
Best regards

The irony of receiving this email from a scammer:

Hi,

Due to the high volume of internet scams, I give you the chance to receive the car at your home address BEFORE i receive my money for it. I appreciate your interest but I want to let you know that the car is located in Poland. I purchased the car in US and I moved to Europe, in Poland the law is different recording the registration of a vehicle that is outside of Europe, it is expensive and difficult to register this car in Poland, this is the reason of selling. Instead of letting it sit in the garage I've decided to sell it at low price.
I can ship the car to you, also I can be responsible for the transport cost and you'll pay after inspection. The car looks and runs fantastic! Within 19 days you will get the car and you will have a period of 2 days to inspect the car and when the inspection period ends, if everything is fine you can make the payment.
CLEAN TITLE IN HAND, NO LIENS OR ISSUES!

PLEASE SEND ME YOUR PHONE NUMBER SO WE CAN TALK ALL DETAILS OVER THE PHONE.

I'm looking forward to hear from you soon.

Thank you,
Macienko Miroslaw Zbigniew

About a Lotus Exige:

Does the steering wheel adjust, and can you put lamboghini doors on it.

If you don't ask, the answer is always "no", right?

One of this days you should give away one of this cars. I would really appreciate driving to college with this car and I would not mind driving with the logo of your company. Hope one of this days I get to drive that car.

This car is exactly what I am looking for to use on Prom night. Please let me know if there is anyway I could borrow it or rent it. I'd love to use this car for prom weekend.

Wall of Shame